When I was lurking around the net, I came across the Reverb 10 website. That's an initiative to 'reflect on this year and manifest what's next'. Each day they have a prompt, something I am going to reflect about in my head and write about it. I don't know about you, but I am not the kid of girl who sits and thinks a lot about specific things, I have a thousand of thoughts running thtough my head every second of the day! So I thought that it was going to be a good opportunity to reflect on things.
I know it's the 20th December today and because I am in Australia, I am always going to be a day behind, so really, I gain one day!
Today's prompt:
December 19: Healing. What has healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
That's a tricky question for me. There is physical healing and emotional healing envolved in answering that question. Where do I start?
3 years ago I was diagnosed and treated for thyroid cancer. Long story cut short, I had a lump in my neck which I was told was benign, five years later, they actually find out it was cancer, I had two surgeries (removal of my thyroid included). You think that would be the end of it, truth is, I never felt healthy after that. One thing or the other, something is always going on with me. I suffered chest pains for 18 months, I have migraines, I am always tired and moody sometimes, and lately my right side of the body is acting weird, I am losing movement and struggling to do normal things like write. It's a daily struggle to keep positive and not worry about what might be wrong with me. Yes, we are trying to get to the bottom of this, but bless the health system, I have an appointment in April to see a neurologist. Meanwhile, I just need to put up with it and try not to worry.
What healed me? No healing for me just yet. How would I like to be healed in 2011? I just want to feel normal again. No worries in the back of my mind (it's so much easier to imagine that's something seriously wrong than be cool about it), just happy living, ok, an accasional headache might be acceptable... but no more being a prisoner of worry.
I encourage everyone to take part of this project, it's that time of the year for reflection, you know?
I'm still pondering how I'm going to respond to this prompt - I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in March - 10 days before my daughter's first birthday. I'm still in the middle of my battle.
ReplyDeleteI love this reverb10 challenge, but the prompts are not easy.
letting go of worry seems almost a meditative practice. It's one I'm working on as well. here's wishing you success in your challenge.